When I was a child, I was quite paranoid. Not like “monsters under my bed” paranoid… like “my parents are trying to get rid of me paranoid”. Let me immediately say that they absolutely were NOT. I just told my mother that little fact tonight and this is how she looked at me (I can only do bunny faces):
( O O)
(“)__(“) (That’s a surprised face. I guess I could have just told you she looked surprised but there’s no turning back now.)
So let’s get into some of the strange, strange, STRANGE things I thought as a child. (Time for bullet points. YES!!)
- I thought fireman, policemen, ambulance drivers…. anyone who drove a vehicle with sirens had no head. Why? Because once we were at a stop light next to an ambulance and the shadow hit right at the driver’s neck and I couldn’t see his head. So using my brilliant powers of deduction, I figured they were all headless.
- I thought every time we drove over a certain railroad track in Eugene, it gave me leg cramps.
- I thought cucumbers gave me headaches (in my defense, I didn’t realize at the time that EVERYTHING gave me headaches. I just hated cucumbers).
- I used to think that outhouses went on and on forever. Meaning that if I fell in, I wouldn’t be knee-deep in human waste, I would drown in it. DROWN, I say!!! Terrifying!
- One time, downtown, my dad accidentally started backing up the car before I was all the way in and then I was convinced my parents were trying to leave me, wherever we went.
- In public restrooms, I used to stand as close to the door as possible when finished while I buttoned my pants; then I’d flush the toilet and run out as fast as possible because I thought weird tentacle monsters would come out and drag me in…. and somehow I thought my parents were in on it.
- When I was little (like 3… not 23) I’d just put on a new pair of underwear over the ones I was already wearing because I thought that’s what it meant when my mom said to put on clean underwear.
- I used to think that the hospital gave me to the wrong parents because I was the only one with blonde hair. But even if they did… it worked out. HAHA
That’s all I can think of for now. I was a strange child.
That’s really all I can say.
Katie….. I think.