Shopping for Free!

An unusual thing happened today. I got the urge to shop (Those who know me know that this is not the unusual thing). I think it’s because I had credit at a store and bought something the other day and once you open the shopping floodgates, it’s hard to close them. Anyway, I planned on leaving for work early so I could go wander around a store and look at clothes. I would probably end up buying something but it wouldn’t be the end of the world… even though I’m trying to save money.

Well, instead I was lazy (this is not the unusual thing either) and decided to try a different approach to my shopping urges. I shopped in my own closet (unusual since I have NOTHING to wear). I always see it in the magazines “rethink the wardrobe you already have!” And I’d roll my eyes and say “but I already know what I have!”

Well, I was wrong. Turns out things I bought and never wear (hello, impulse buys!) actually look cute when paired with other things in my closet. I tried on a whole bunch of different outfits and no longer felt the need to go out and buy anything. Because, geez, do I have some cute stuff! My mother would be so proud!

I think I’ll be living in this black lace blazer (thanks, mom!) that I’ve been dying to wear when the weather gets nice. It just makes everything I own look fantastic. I also have a few dresses I’ll be busting out once I decide to shave my legs and apply some self tanner (so next summer, probably).

So the moral of this story is the fashion magazines are always right… and I love clothes.

Go invent a new outfit from your wardrobe… you’d be surprised at what you have.

I think I’ll go shopping tomorrow.


Once I own these my wardrobe will be complete!

And these........

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Reality Check!

There is an alarming number of people I know who are disatisfied with their appearance in some way. And I’m sure you know a lot of people who feel the same way. We are unhappy with our bodies. We are unhappy with our hair. We are unhappy with our skin.

Now, I have a lot of beautiful friends and family members so when I think about the percentage of them that are unhappy with something about themselves, I’m kind of appalled. I don’t think a day goes by that I don’t hear someone complain about something that they aren’t thrilled with.

“My hair is frizzy.”
“I need to lose 5 more pounds.”
“I just need to be a little darker.”

No, no, and no. But how do you tell someone “no” without sounding like you’re just trying to be nice? Because I’m not trying to be nice; I’m being honest. Your hair looks awesome. You have a beautiful figure. You’re going to get skin cancer.

Somewhere along the way of trying to be modest, our self-esteems took a nosedive. When was the last time you received a compliment and didn’t try to explain why you don’t deserve it? Why is it so hard just to say “thank you” and really mean it?

Then there is the issue of the way women are portrayed in the media. A lot of fashion magazines are taking steps to rectify the situation now by featuring “real” body types (let’s just not forget that skinny people are real body types too. hehe). Better late than never. But still, why can’t we see the women on the covers of magazines for what they are? Beautiful, airbrushed models. We are not airbrushed models. We aren’t held to the same unfair standards. Let’s embrace that! How great is it that you can eat a cheeseburger without fearing for your job? People are not “one-size fits all”. Just be at a healthy weight for YOU.

There were things I didn’t like about myself for a long time and then one day I realized that I was the only one who cared. And you know what? I stopped caring. And it feels incredible.

That red spot on your face that you think is turning into a pimple? NOBODY ELSE NOTICES. Those new microscopic wrinkles under your eyes? NO ONE CAN SEE THEM BUT YOU. Your hair doesn’t look as good as usual? I bet it still looks pretty amazing.

Think about what you see when you look at your friends. Do you ever notice the impending zit or the new wrinkle or the out of place hair? No. And nobody notices when it happens to you either. Because you are beautiful as a whole person. You have a blemish or an imperfection? It’s beautiful because it’s a part of who you are.

If we all spend every day in the tanning bed, weigh 110 lbs, and have perfectly straight hair, then we all look alike. And there’s nothing beautiful about that.

I don’t think my friends and my family members realize how much it upsets me when they complain to me about their looks. You are insulting someone I care about! And if they could see themselves how I see them, they would realize how beautiful they are. I just wish that everyone didn’t have such a warped view of their own appearance.

So do me a favor, because I love you. The next time you’re thinking something negative about yourself, just stop. Retrain yourself to see yourself as a whole person; not a wrinkle or a few “extra” pounds or hair that won’t do what you want it to do today. No one is perfect. That would be boring and ugly.

And we just aren’t.

It’s not something that happens over night. Being happy with yourself means changing your thought process and it takes work. But you should try it. I’m not saying to stop caring about how you look, because that’s unrealistic. Just stop being so critical of yourself. You’re not so bad!

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I’m Kind of a Big Deal

I don’t know if you all know this about me but I have a lot of famous friends. I thought you’d probably like to see the pictures since they’re awesome and all. And some of them have our stories included!

I know what you’re going to say, “But Katie, some of these look real and some of these look fake!”

Yes, I realize it appears that way, and while some are more fake than they are real, they’re all real. So… ponder that for awhile and then take a look.

First of all, here I am with the handsome Australian, Eric Bana.

Here I am with my husband, Josh Duhamel, after he left that man Fergie for me.

Here I am with my good friend, Mila Kunis, at the premiere of Black Swan! I did all of my own dancing!!

Here I am with my good friend, Natalie Portman, at the premiere of Black Swan!

Al Pacino and I. He kept telling me to stop calling him Michael Corleone but I wouldn't! I'm such a joker! Also, they say the camera adds 10 lbs, but as you can see here the camera also makes you look like you have Robert De Niro's body... how strange.

The Queen mum and I heading out for a spot of tea! We bonded over tiaras, my nickname "princess", and other royal stuff. I had my extra-large head on that day.

This one may be a bit scandalous, what with the royal wedding coming up and all, but this is me with Prince William. Rumor has it he likes Kates!

Here is me with Jared Leto. This one looks a little more realistic... I don't know why.

Now I’m close with all of these famous people above but my BFF is a man known as Hunter Burgan who plays the base for a band called AFI. And when I say we are BFFs, I mean it. Just look at the evidence!

This is his "We are BFFs!!!" face!

He and I are on the left. As you can see we are caught up in our own conversation... because we are BFFs.

And we are always chatting away on facebook!

So there you have it! Please, continue to treat me like a normal person. Just because I’m practically a celebrity myself doesn’t mean you need to ask me for my autograph or take pictures of me getting my nails done. Just make sure you don’t look me in the eyes, please.

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At Least I’m Learning?? Kind of??

Sometimes I’m not sure where my studying goes awry. I’m motoring right along and then suddenly I find myself on Paint (no, not photoshop, I’m not THAT advanced) making artistic masterpieces.

So today I found myself studying art history. And then I found myself becoming a part of art history.

So I present to you art as it SHOULD have been done.

Me after Medical School:

"The Katie Clinic" by Thomas Eakins. An excellent example of Realism art (I think... I should study more)

Me if I don’t go to Medical School:

"Tenement Interior in Poverty Gap" Photo by Jacob Riis.

Me “pointing to my kids as treasures” HAH! Yeah right:

"Katie Pointing to Her Children as Her Treasures" by Angelica Kauffmann. This is definitely Neoclassicism. Boy, I sure had some cute kids!!

Me at the beach… with me, me, me, me, and me:

"A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte" by Georges Seurat. Post-Impressionism at it's finest... and also me at MY finest.

Me, me, and me at a party:

"Moulin de la Galette" by Pierre-Auguste Renoir. Impressionism. Nobody loves me at a party like me!

Me working at a bar:

"A Bar at the Folies Bergere Or Whatever" by Manet. I have to put myself through school somehow!

And then this:

"The Scream" by Edvard Munch. I can't tell who is more scared of who.

There you have it.

I’m so gonna ace this test.

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Let Me Tell You Something…

In case you all forgot, I’m very wise and important. So here I have assembled some of my own flawless wisdomlets (the word my mom and I made up for little pieces of wisdom) and a few by some other wise (not otherwise) and important people… like me. (I really love parentheses.)

Thoughts while listening to dumb songs on the radio: If you’re saying to people “Don’t hate me cuz I’m beautiful” chances are they hate you for other reasons… like your winning personality.
(This one is not a joke. I mean it!!!)

If you find yourself in leggings and a shirt that does not cover your behind, then for God’s sake, go change your clothes.

It is not necessary to flash a peace sign in every picture that you take. If I see it once, I will go ahead and assume that you’re in support of peace until I hear otherwise. While we’re on the subject, it’s also unnecessary to make a face that makes you look like an underwater sea creature in every picture. I think fish are cute too… but there is a reason we are not fish.

“If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.”
– Alice Roosevelt Longworth

“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.”
– Bertrand Russell


Some people take me more seriously than they should. I like to say ridiculous things because it cracks me up. If it offends you, chances are you don’t know me well enough to know otherwise.

This has been a message by me sponsored by NBC*. The more you know….

*It’s not sponsored by NBC at all but if they want to throw some money my way, I won’t complain.

Does anyone have a burrito they can spare???

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You Have Wings! Use Them!!

Birds freak me out. They’re always flying at my head, or staring at me weird, or hopping across the road really fast so I won’t run them over even though I’m sitting in my car screaming “YOU CAN FLY!!!”

Sometimes it’s nice to hear them sing. Some of them are nice to listen to. I like the cheeseburger birds. If you don’t know what those are, they’re the birds that say “cheese-bur-ger” or sometimes they actually say “cheese-bur-ger-bird”. Duh, that’s why they’re called cheeseburger birds. (Speaking of “duh” I heard someone say it at school today and I automatically thought “Winning”. Curse you, Charlie Sheen!)

You know which birds aren’t nice to listen to? The birds that sound like people pretending to be birds. You know the ones. You’re walking through a parking lot at the grocery store and you hear “CAW!” and you have to look around because you’re not sure if there’s a crazy person making bird noises at you or if there’s a creepy crow stalking you on one of those giant parking lot lights.

I was once sitting outside of Taco Del Mar in Bend, enjoying some nachos, and this bird flew over and sat on the chair next to me. Didn’t even ask if it was taken! Typical bird. They’re so yucky.

I like swans though. They’re so pretty but man, they’ll peck your face right off. Awesome.

Plus, I once got hit in the head by a bat… not a baseball bat. A bat bat. I know it’s not technically a bird but it flies so it was creepy. Actually, I can’t remember if it hit me in the head and then hit Shelly in the arm or if it was the other way around. Either way, it was traumatic.

There’s no good closing line for this piece of work.


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Party of Two, Table for One

Sometimes I feel like there are two versions of me living in one body.

Version 1 wants to live in a cute apartment downtown in a big city. She wants to work a lot in a fulfilling job that challenges and rewards her. She wants to go out to fancy restaurants and trendy bars. She wants to go to the spa and get manicures. She wants to travel and do a lot of shopping.

Version 2 wants to live in a cute house in the country (but still within 30 minutes of a Fred Meyer and Costco) with lots of animals. She wants to work (because I go crazy when I’m not working and I end up thinking about and writing things like this) but not endless hours of work. She wants to go to cute little diners and cozy pubs. She wants to sew cute clothes and paint. She still would like to do a lot of shopping.

Version 1 is currently winning as I am going to school to do a job that will require me to work a lot and let me afford things like fancy restaurants and spa visits while also making me feel good about what I do. Besides, I don’t know how to sew and I’m not the best at painting so version 2 would be a little frustrated. But maybe later on in life, version 2 will have her moment to enjoy life and give version 1 a break.

But if there’s one thing all of me can agree on, it’s the shopping. Shopping brings us together.

This post brought to you by procrastination


( O  O )

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