Do you ever have those days where you feel invisible? No, not in the overly-emotional “nobody cares about me!!” kind of way. I mean in the “Why did you just run your shopping cart into me?” way. Literally, no one can see me. I could be running up and down the aisles of the grocery store in a tutu waving my arms like a baboon and no one would even glance at me. I have these days more than I should. Like the majority of the time I go to Fred Meyer, someone runs me over with their cart. Not just old ladies with vision problems. Lots of people. Or I’ll be walking and people will literally steer their carts so they are coming right at me. COME ON!!
Apparently I am unaware of the flashing sign above my head alerting people that they’ll get three points if they hit me. Like they’re Mario and I’m…. a coin or whatever Mario is after. (Itsa me, Mario!)
And it’s not even just when I’m in a store. It’s when I’m driving. Someone will be sitting there, waiting to pull out. They’ll sit there for a good five seconds, watching me drive towards them with their beady little eyes, and then RIGHT before I get there, they pull out in front of me. EVERY TIME.
I wish I were kidding. Really, I do. If I were kidding, I wouldn’t hate going out in public so much. I would do my grocery shopping at normal hours instead of at midnight. Okay, I actually always do my shopping at normal hours but I would PREFER to do it at midnight and like everyone says, it’s the thought that counts.
On the other hand, when I don’t want to be seen, EVERYONE sees me. On my particularly antisocial days when I’m forced to leave the house because I’m out of something that I’ll die without, like face moisturizer, I run into every single person that I’ve ever met in my life. People just start coming out of the woodworks. My dad’s brother’s neighbor’s dogsitter will find me in the skincare aisle and be like “OMG, I haven’t seen you since you were THIS big!!” And I have to paste my smile on and pretend like I don’t want to start chucking loufas at them until they leave me alone.
It also happens when I put very little effort into my hair or face that day. It’ll be like the ONE time I go out in sweatpants and I’ll see everyone I work with and went to school with. Actually, that backfired on me one day. I went in to work and I was feeling REALLY sick and wanted to go home early so I just put NO effort into anything. I made sure I looked as sick as I felt. And wouldn’t you know, that would be the day I would see the guy I was in love with when I was 14 (hehe) that I haven’t seen in 7 years?? And now I’m legal! And I looked like an invalid. Did I say hi? No, I ran the other way. Haven’t seen him since. I’ll probably never marry him like I planned.
Don’t you love a happy ending?