Welcome back… It’s Not Too Late to Run.

When I was a child, I was quite paranoid. Not like “monsters under my bed” paranoid… like “my parents are trying to get rid of me paranoid”. Let me immediately say that they absolutely were NOT. I just told my mother that little fact tonight and this is how she looked at me (I can only do bunny faces):
(())(())
( O O)
(“)__(“) (That’s a surprised face. I guess I could have just told you she looked surprised but there’s no turning back now.)

So let’s get into some of the strange, strange, STRANGE things I thought as a child. (Time for bullet points. YES!!)

• I thought fireman, policemen, ambulance drivers…. anyone who drove a vehicle with sirens had no head. Why? Because once we were at a stop light next to an ambulance and the shadow hit right at the driver’s neck and I couldn’t see his head. So using my brilliant powers of deduction, I figured they were all headless.
• I thought every time we drove over a certain railroad track in Eugene, it gave me leg cramps.
• I thought cucumbers gave me headaches (in my defense, I didn’t realize at the time that EVERYTHING gave me headaches. I just hated cucumbers).
• I used to think that outhouses went on and on forever. Meaning that if I fell in, I wouldn’t be knee-deep in human waste, I would drown in it. DROWN, I say!!! Terrifying!
• One time, downtown, my dad accidentally started backing up the car before I was all the way in and then I was convinced my parents were trying to leave me, wherever we went.
• In public restrooms, I used to stand as close to the door as possible when finished while I buttoned my pants; then I’d flush the toilet and run out as fast as possible because I thought weird tentacle monsters would come out and drag me in…. and somehow I thought my parents were in on it.
• When I was little (like 3… not 23) I’d just put on a new pair of underwear over the ones I was already wearing because I thought that’s what it meant when my mom said to put on clean underwear.
• I used to think that the hospital gave me to the wrong parents because I was the only one with blonde hair. But even if they did… it worked out. HAHA

That’s all I can think of for now. I was a strange child.

That’s really all I can say.

Katie….. I think.

I Have a Secret

Okay, I’ve been holding out on you. There’s something you don’t know.

I’m a major movie actress. Seriously… I’ve been in a LOT of films. I’ve even been in movies that were made before I was born. What, you still don’t believe me? Fine, here is proof:

 

I was one of the astronauts in Apollo 13. Sadly I maybe had the measles and didn't get to go to space. I think Gary Sinise knows how I felt.

 

I was also in Jurassic Park, looking at dinosaur eggs. But I'm not going to lie, I was mostly there for Jeff Goldblum.

With Zoolander... practicing my blue steel look.

With my husband, young Al Pacino, in Scarface. Pardon my cleavage.

With my newest husband, Ryan Gosling, in Drive. Good movie. Not many lines to memorize.

Me with Marlon Brando in Streetcar... we had to do his scene multiple times because I kept mauling him. Whoops. Also, they were going to yell my name at the end but it sounded better to yell "STELLAAAA!!!!" Darn.

Me and Michael Corleone. I wanted to off someone but he wouldn't let me... not even Fredo.

Getting ready to kill the witch king. I was going to let him live until he called me a dude.

Right before he became my sleeping bag.

 

Clearly no one in my acting class ever told me not to look directly into the cameras. Don’t worry, I won’t forget you now that I’m famous.

Well… not ALL of you.

Katie

No Facebook. No problem….?

I deactivated my Facebook for 2 1/2 days. This was the result.

11/01/2011 – 0100

I decided to deactivate my Facebook account for awhile. I spend too much time on there keeping up with people’s lives and looking at pictures and posting things. It’s a nice way to stay updated, but I think I’ll survive a few days without knowing what everyone is up to. Also, I’m always checking it from my phone whenever I’m anywhere so this will help me focus more on what I’m actually doing instead of checking Facebook.

In exchange for Facebook silence, I’m chronicling my events outside of the site on my blog… which I will then post a link to on Facebook when I decide to return. I haven’t made a timeline for how long I’ll stay off of Facebook. I’m thinking 2 days at the least.

So I posted a message tonight so that those who notice won’t think I’ve snapped and unfriended them after I disappear (so… no one. HAHA) Then in the morning I’ll deactivate my account and do something productive. I’m not too worried… the people I regularly communicate with have my cell number so it’s not like I’m totally isolated.

I do need to do a serious room cleaning and organizing so this will help with that. And I would like to read a book cover to cover like I used to. Maybe I’ll go outside and look around. Anyway, that’s all for today. I’ll return tomorrow. Hopefully I won’t have fallen off of the wagon yet.

 

11/1/2011 – 1150

Okay, maybe this experiment isn’t going great so far. I’m recovering from a migraine so I’m lazing around. Since I’m not allowed on Facebook, I’m internet shopping. This plan may have backfired. However, I downloaded all of my Facebook information in case something happened and it didn’t all come back or whatever. So I’m about to go through all of that. It should be fun.

Room is still a mess. No book has been read.

Later

Okay, reading my old statuses on my downloaded Facebook thing is equal parts amusing and horrifying. Here’s a post from September 13, 2008: “Katie Graber is in Seattle and ready to do some serious damage to her financial stability (What stability?) today. Yay shopping!” Clearly some things never change as that is what I did this last weekend.

So far, many of my updates talk about football, Dexter, online shopping, and Muse. At least I’m consistent.

December 28, 2008: “Katie Graber thinks Uggs make you look like you killed a camel and are wearing its feet.” HAHAHA I agree with 20 year old me!

Okay, this is definitely backfiring because now I’m spending too much time going through all of this old stuff instead of being productive. Oh well, it’s only day one.

Later

Okay, reading more updates from years ago. I thought my shopping was bad now… I was AWFUL then! I’ve definitely improved! Yay! Oh, and that time I gave up soda. HAHA. Good one. And then that time I decided to move to New York because there are no Wal-Marts there (still sounds like a golden idea).

March 12, 2009: “Katie Graber wants to know who rotates their tires… Seriously… They rotate when you’re driving… Good enough for me.” I’ve learned nothing from that one because I still don’t rotate my tires.

11/1/2001 – 2250

First text message asking if I’ve unfriended them, from Marybeth, who being my best friend, I obviously did not unfriend. Hahahaha. So someone DID notice. Now I feel loved. Or maybe it’s just that everyone’s newsfeeds were empty because I wasn’t posting…

11/02/2011

Worked all day so the only time I really missed Facebook was when I wanted to complain about annoying patients… which was often. I may be PMSy… see, this is the kind of TMI you’re missing out on while I’m not on Facebook. Then when I got home from work I missed it a little. Still, it’s nice to not constantly be wondering what other people are doing or if someone commented on something. I just watched television in peace. HAHA. I promise I’ll be productive tomorrow.

11/03/2011

Very productive today! Getting room cleaned, lights up in my room for Christmas (IT’S NEVER TOO EARLY!), taking clothes to Goodwill, and recycling old laptops. I think when I’m done with all of that I’ll reactivate my Facebook. I don’t even know what else I could accomplish at this point. Hahaha

Except I didn’t read that book… I did read a magazine though.

Eating Out is Just Easier…

So that whole thing about me trying to cook? I made a dip. It was good. That was it. Turns out I worked way too much these last few weeks to even want to think about cooking. I let the cooks in the hospital cafeteria worry about that. (The great thing about working night shift is that the hospital food is SOOOO much better at 1 in the morning).

Now I’m off to Seattle. I love it there. I may never come back… except I will because my dog is here. Perhaps after I return I will try that cooking thing again. Or maybe I’ll try that take out place that picks up food from your favorite restaurants and brings it to you. That sounds awesome too.

While we’re on the topic of food, I just want to say how delicious Five Guys burgers is. It’s delicious. So on our way to Seattle we are stopping in Salem for Five Guys, then we will be eating a lot of Five Guys in Seattle, and then maybe more on the way back.

Anyway, the moral of this whole post is that when I say I’m going to cook, I’m probably not going to cook.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Katie

Someone get the Fire Extinguisher

It’s no secret that I LOVE to eat. I adore food. It is what I think about most of the time. I live for the days that I eat out. Restaurants are my favorite places. I love trying new things (until I find my favorite dish and then I stick with that, usually).

It’s also no secret that I have zero skills in the kitchen. I messed up easy mac. EASY mac. “Easy” is in the name and I ruined it (which, if you think about it, takes a special kind of skill, so I’m actually kind of awesome). So, when I’m home, unless someone else cooks, I don’t tend to eat tasty things. Let’s just say the microwave is my friend.

This leads to me sitting around, thinking about delicious food and then microwaving a frozen pizza. Well, now I’m going to do something about it. Lately, I’ve been addicted to a lovely site called Pinterest (thanks a lot, Amy! haha). While it is full of many things, I’ve been very attracted to the delicious recipes I see. At first I’d see some that looked good and try to figure out what restaurant would serve them. However, after I couldn’t think of any place in Bend that serves avocado fries (that I know of) I decided I’m going to take matters into my own hands.

That’s right. I’m going to learn how to cook. Mom has already volunteered to help me. Clearly, she is crazy. So I start next week… and I start with avocado fries. I’m sure there will be many mishaps and entertaining stories. I’ll document them here unless it’s boring. I’ll share the recipes too because I want everyone to love food as much as me! Most of the recipes are healthy too (minus the deep frying avocados part). Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be good enough to conquer easy mac.

So as I said, avocado fries are first up. Also I’m going to make homemade ranch dressing. My cousin, Shelly, already used the recipe I’m going to use and said it’s delicious. I put ranch dressing on EVERYTHING so I’m very excited. If the avocado fries go well (which I don’t know… I’m starting with a hard one) then I’ll jump to baked zucchini sticks with a sweet onion dip. There are also garlic mashed potato cakes that I want to try and a cheesy potato and bacon casserole. What is exciting to me about this is I love things like avocado and zucchini but I rarely eat them at home because I don’t know how to transform them into something amazing.

The purpose of this is not to cut down on my eating out (okay, maybe a little). I love it too much to give it up. But this will allow me to eat delicious food ALL of the time… unless I suck. Then I guess microwaveable pizzas aren’t that bad… ugh.

So anyway, I’ll post about it here because it’ll keep me motivated. And let’s face it, me in the kitchen… it’s going to lead to something horrific. Severed fingers? Kitchen fires? Accidentally deep frying something in its wrapper? Should be fun.

Katie

Avocado fries. Om nom nom.

I’m on a lot of medication… don’t listen to me…

Day two of migraine. Muscle relaxer and vicodin doing nothing. Going to try smothering myself with a pillow.

But before I do that, I thought I’d write a few thoughts that are floating around in my brain…. Warning: Mostly shallow things are floating around in my head right now. Some of them are fashion tips disguised as snarky remarks. Scandalous!

Thought 1: Thank the Lord my laptop screen dims so I can still use it when my head hurts. There is NOTHING on TV.

Thought 2: I said this earlier on facebook but seriously… it’s 2011… which means it’s almost 2012… which means it’s almost the end of the world. It’s time to throw your trucker hats in the trash. No one wants to die in one of those.

Thought 3: Dear Toms Shoes, it’s nice that when someone buys your shoes you donate shoes to kids who don’t have them or whatever. But can’t I just buy a kid a pair of shoes and then buy myself a CUTE pair of shoes? Because then they get shoes and I don’t have to wear Toms. Everybody wins!!

Thought 4: KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE STUPID TOP KNOT HAIRSTYLE. You may think it’s easy and breezy… but I’M the one who has to look at you!

Thought 5: I’m a little grumpy.

Blazer Magic!

I love reading fashion blogs. Actually, they don’t require much reading. It’s girls in their pretty outfits photographed in various places in their cities. I could never be a real live fashion blogger for many reasons.

1.) I don’t have the money to buy all of the clothes they have to buy!
2.) I could not be photographed somewhere in public because it makes me ridiculously self conscious and then I smile weird.

But occasionally I snatch up a piece that I think is worth a look. And this is one of them. I spoke of my beautiful lace blazer in my last post but this time I took some amateur webcam photos of it! They don’t look quite as amazing as they would if I was a real fashion blogger who wandered the city in crazy outfits while my sister photographed me with her fancy schmancy camera but you still get the gist of how awesome this blazer is. Seriously, I’m going to wear it with EVERYTHING this summer.

Hey! Where's my head??

I’m going to be wearing it with my romper this summer. That’s right, I bought a romper…. the ultimate crazy fashion person’s summer purchase. I never thought I’d do it but I tried it on and pictured it with this blazer and I HAD to have it. Plus it was only $10 from Target.

The blazer itself is from one of the online sample sale websites my mom and I love and was a gift from my wonderful mother.

I repaid her by pitching in to get her a kindle for her birthday… oh, so I heard. HAHA

Katie